Oops

Usually before I write a blog on here I think a lot about what I want to write. Usually I think about it as I shower, or on my way to work, or other quiet times in my life. Since my last post I was thinking about how good my life had been going. How just working one job and getting adequate sleep have lowered my stress levels to the point that I wasn't wearing diapers for a while. I was getting excited about some full time job opportunities in marketing in Denver. 

Denver seems kinda random but there is a very specific reason I would like to live there. A girl. We dated for a short time a while back and we both had quite an impact on each other. Our lives lead us to live in different countries for a while, but we always stayed in contact. We were good friends before we dated and we stayed great friends afterwards too. In fact she is the only person I've told about my, well this. 

So things are looking that I might move to Denver and as I told her about this she got really excited. She talked about all the things we could do together and I started to get excited too. You see I would take this girl back in a heart beat. I was happiest when I was with her, far happier than I have ever been at any other time in my life. And even though she said she just wanted to be friends, it was the way she talked about what we would do when I got there that got me thinking maybe she wanted more too. 

Last night we talked. And it looks like I did just make it all up in my head. She doesn't want me in the same way I want her and it's not like she said anything different, I think that this time I got my head out of the clouds. So now we aren't even friends, we can't be. I have to get over her, which is going to be hard cause I'm really shy. 

Also I can't help but think that my love for diapers played a part in it as well. That she sees me as kinda pathetic. Maybe I am. Because literally right after I got off the phone with her I put my cloth diaper on.