Sexuality Rant(ish)

*Just remember this is coming from a virgin who will be staying a virgin until he gets married*

The idea of sexuality has been on my mind of late, for various reasons. For those of you who don't live in the island paradise of Hawaii, just a few months ago gay marriage was legalized. For those of who you do live in the island I don't want to get into any political debate of how it was run or anything like that. Instead I want to talk about our view as human beings on sexuality.

To you avid readers out there, you know that I am Mormon, a conservative, Christian religion. And I live in an area with a lot of Mormons. Back when the law was going through the Senate and the House, there was much discussion about the issue. When people approached me about my opinion, most were appalled that I was for gay marriage. The awestruck, deer-in-the-headlights look would always follow my answer, along with the question, "Lathorium, are you gay?" (Just as a side note, I can't even count the number of times people have asked me that question, and I think I know why.)

We are taught this binary form of sexuality that I just don't think exists. There is this idea, and it is very strong in the Mormon community, that you are either gay or straight. And bi is just for those people who can't choose. When is human life this simple? When is it ever just one thing or another?

As I look around at online diapered forums, I see links to other fetishes and lifestyles. I browse through them and I like how sexuality is defined there. Instead of a binary form, gay/straight, it is more open. People are allowed to explore who they are and what they like, however weird it may seem. I personally am very happy for online diaper forums, it's through one of them in particular DailyDiaper.com . It has been from the support of people on this forum and reading their stories that I have been able to accept myself as a DL.

So this is my new way of looking at sexuality. You have what is known as vanilla, typical heterosexual couple. And then you have as many flavors as you can imagine. The best part is that just as in cooking, you can make up your own to fit your own desires and needs. The way I see it, as long as you aren't hurting yourself or anyone else, who cares? If it makes you happy it makes you happy.

I almost forgot. The reason why I think a lot of people ask me if I am gay is because I am not vanilla. Yes I am straight, but I also have a diaper fetish. And I hope to include this fetish with my wife someday.

Oh Sh*!

Just as a little back story, I did laundry yesterday. Part of that laundry included my prefold diaper that can't be dried in a dryer on the same setting as the rest of my clothes. So I hung it up in the clothesline in the garage that my landlord has set up. It takes a long time to dry, so I left it up all day yesterday. This morning I went to get it, and it was gone. It wasn't on the line. I'm thinking that my landlord took it off since it's his clothes that are now on the line. I have to go get it from him now. That will probably include explaining to him what it is, if he doesn't already know, and admitting to him that I wear. Little scary

Wait, what?

I'm not sure how this happened. I didn't even want it to happen because I'm sure I couldn't handle it mentally or emotionally if anything comes from it. I'm not even sure how long I will be living here in Hawaii because of all of the resumes I have been sending all of the world for what I call "grown-up" jobs. You know, full time, salary paid, with benefits and everything.

So there is this girl. We are in the same ward (Mormon term for parish) and she introduced herself to me on Sunday and I felt a little chispa. At the time I didn't think anything about it. But then I saw her across the room at Institute (type of college religion class for anyone), and I felt it again, and a little bit stronger. That feeling really took me by surprise. I was actually spending a big part of the class building up the courage to ask her out, with some help from my white squishy friend ;) But by the end of class she left before I got a chance.

Now I'm gonna spend my time thinking about it, whether or not I should ask her out. She is cute, and seems really nice. But could I handle dating someone? Or even harder, could I handle an actual romantic relationship? I like to think that I can...

Taxes and Etsy

It's that time of the year again, that very boring time of the year to fill out taxes. And I have to admit that this year is the first time in my life that I have filed my own taxes. You see my parents have claimed me as dependent all the way through college. I told them that if they were going to claim me as dependent, they had to do my taxes. Since I was being claimed by them, I would always get like at most $100 back, so the time it would take wouldn't even be worth it. This year though, I am going to get about $1500 back from state and federal. And that is with taking off work for 3 months for an internship. Not bad at all.

And while I have been filing, I literally just finished, I was wearing my Baby Pants Pull Up cloth diaper. I didn't really plan to wear it while doing my taxes. I just put it on this morning, and since I had a couple of hours before going to work, I figured I would just get it done. It was funny because I posted on my Facebook how I feel like an adult since I am finally doing my own taxes. What I didn't mention is that I am wearing diaper too. Maybe not too grown up yet ;)

Another funny thing happened today while wearing my diaper. I went shopping at Costco today with some friends. While going around I saw an elderly lady buying some Depends. It was just funny to think about going up to her and explain where she can buy better diapers.

Anyway, I found this website called Etsy a couple of days ago. They have a lot of custom made things. And just casually I asked one of the sellers on there if she could make a Mario themed adult cloth diaper. She has been amazing friendly and professional about it all, and in probably about 6 weeks I am going to get a red cloth diaper with an embroidered 1up mushroom on it. I am very excited about it. If the quality is good I am definately going to refer her into the diaper community.

That being said, if any of you who read this are actually into diapers, make sure to check out
https://www.etsy.com/?ref=si_home
There are a bunch of cool cloth diapers and onesies and other things like that on here.

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!

So it's Valentine's Day tomorrow. There are probably at least some of you out there that are like me, single. In fact, I have never been in a romantic relationship during this time of the year. Even worse last year's Valentine's Day I asked a girl out and she stood me up. So normally my attitude about this day is something like this

I am not sure exactly what happened, but I just don't care anymore. I am single and I DONT want to be in a relationship anytime soon. It's weird, ever since I started liking girls I have always wanted a girlfriend, of course not just any girl, I had to you know, like her. But not now. I have comfortable and happy being single. Needless to say, diapers have helped a lot in getting to this point. And also Frozen.

Ya, Frozen. That movie helped remind me that there is more to life than romantic love. While it is great and wonderful, there are all types of love, and Valentine's Day is about that too. I will be celebrating Valentine's Day tomorrow by calling and talking to all of my family members. I will be celebrating by kicking the crap out of my roommates at Super Smash Bros, sharing some brotherly love. I am genuinely looking forward to Valentine's Day for the first time in my life. Thank you diapers, and thank you disney, and especially thank you Idina for your amazing voice.

Day Off,

Today is my day off from work and I want to share how awesome it has been so far. It started with getting out early yesterday. We cleaned fast enough after closing that we got out a full half hour early. After work I headed over to the pool to swim some laps. Because I had the extra time, I ended up doubling my workout routine, including swimming a half mile nonstop. Felt really good afterwards, though I am a little sore today.

Anyway, after swimming I came home to shower off all the chlorine. Then I started my laundry, and since I was the only one home, I decided it was time to try my new cloth diaper, a Leak Master prefold. Before I got this one, and I'll write a review about it later, I only had the Baby Pants pull up style cloth diaper. This Leak Master is a prefold style, meaning I had to use safety pins to put it on. It was really hard to do by myself. First off the size is kinda small on me, I probably should have gotten the large instead of the medium. But seriously it was really hard to put it on, even with tips from various people online. I think over time I will get better at it.

Once again though I was impressed with how comfortable it was. If anyone out there reading this is a AB/DL and hasn't tried out cloth diapers, I strongly recommend giving it a try. They are better on the environment and your wallet. Think about it, instead of throwing away your diaper after using it, you just put it in the wash and its good to go again.

Back to my night. So after I finally got this diaper on, I played some Super Smash Bros, put away my laundry, and went to bed. Sadly it was raining before I went to sleep. I figured, alright we got 2 more weeks of rain again. I was so wrong. I woke up this morning to nothing but sunshine. Since all of my roommates were at school or work, I walked around this morning in nothing but my t-shirt and diaper with plastic pants on. It was kinda fun. I ate a Costco muffin for breakfast, changed, and headed out to the beach to enjoy the sunshine. Waves were a little weaker than I hoped they would be, but after swimming I took a 30 minute nap in the sun, and that felt amazing.

After the beach I came home and called my dad because its his birthday. Then I started working on a dessert for tomorrow. You see the majority of the guys that I live with are single so we decided to have a Super Smash Bros party. Everyone is gonna bring some food, and I am gonna kick their butts because the 64 is MY system. They just don't know it yet.

Anyway, like I said, I have been working on this dessert, for about 4 hours now. Its an ice cream cake kind of. The recipe is for what is called Grasshopper's Pie, but I am doing it a little bit differently. First off, I am Mormon and I don't drink, so there is no alcohol in it. Also, since it is Valentine's Day tomorrow, I used strawberry ice cream instead of mint chocolate chip. So I am calling it Lady Bug's Pie. Right now I have finished the crust, ice cream, frosting, and cool whip. I am just waiting for the cool whip to freeze so I can add some chocolate shavings and chocolate chips on top. It is going to be amazing.

And it just started raining, so glad I went to the beach at the beginning of the day.

Product Review: Baby Pants - Adult Training Pants

So this is the first cloth diaper that I have tried. I bought it with some doubts. First off it is a pull-up style diaper, which in the past I haven't liked as much. Plus it was my first cloth diaper so I wasn't too sure about it. But the reviews on amazon were amazing for it, and Baby Pants is a company I have used before and I have been very pleased with their products.
The first time I tried these on, I was impressed. They have the great feeling of bulk that I have come to love from wearing diapers. The fit was right one, not too tight, but not falling off either. And so comfortable, the material is made of cloth. The only thing I didn't like about it is the tag.

You see how that huge tag sticks out the back? That does not help one who is trying to be discreet. In case you can't tell what it looks like from this picture, this is what the tag looks like

Like I said, very hard to be discreet if this tag is sticking out of my pants. So every time that I wear, I make sure that this thing is covered. Though I have to admit that there is a little thrill with the idea of being "discovered"...
Anyway, getting off topic. Basically, from the first time I wore these, I loved them. The best part was that I could keep wearing them. I just throw them in the wash, and bam they are good to go again. These are gonna save me a lot of money in the long run.
The next thing I had to do was test their absorbency. While I don't wet diapers that often, it is good to know how much they can hold. First downside of any and all cloth diapers is that you need to have a pair of plastic pants with them in order to wet. A little bit of a pain. So once my plastic pants came in, I gave these a try. And once again I was very impressed. They held quite a bit, especially for a pull up.
So for all of you AB/DLs out there who read this blog, I recommend Baby Pants Adult Training Pants. They are very comfortable and absorb quite a bit of liquid.

Doing Better

For those of you out there that read this blog I want to apologize for the gap since my last writing. Since my blog "Reflection" I have felt a lot better about myself. In reality nothing has changed about my life. I still work at the restaurant, I still have trouble meeting people, and I still do feel pretty lonely, but I don't feel so down about it. Maybe just writing it out helped, I'm not sure, but I am feeling really good about myself. I have sent out resumes all over the country and I still continue to do it. I have been feeling just great.
In fact its been about a week and a half since that blog, and in that time I only wore diapers twice. Once when my plastic pants came in, I'll be writing a review about my cloth diapers soon, and then tonight. I have been in such a good mood that I just don't want to wear.
But tonight I am sitting in my Tena Ultra Stretches and I am a pretty happy guy. Until next time.