Yep that happened last night. Here is the back story.
So as you guys who read this know, I have been fighting my own insecurities the past couple weeks. And I have been getting pretty good at the techniques that I listed previously. They are almost becoming habits now. But I don't want to get comfortable. From the great movie of Tommy Boy, "...you're either growing or you're dying, there ain't no third direction." So the beginning of this week I challenged myself to kiss a girl. I had to prove to myself that I could do it.
Well, ya I did it. I will admit it was kinda lame the way I did. I talked to a friend of mine and I told her a little bit of when I was going through and she was having similar problems. We both had relationships with people that we needed to get over, but yet we both were having problems with it. We both agreed to a NCMO, a common BYU phenomenon, a Non-Commital Make-Out.
It was weird, there is no getting around it. But it worked, at least for me. I can now, and did, talk to the last girl I dated and be friends with her because I don't have her mouth in the back of my mind anymore.
But I wouldn't do it again. Granted, the kiss was great. But I didn't feel anything. Yes there was the physical arousal, but that was it. And there is so much more to life than just the physical. So next time I kiss a girl, it will be because I actually feel something for her. I can't wait for that.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I was wearing my cloth pull-up diaper last night when we kissed.
No comments:
Post a Comment