... And I'm a Mormon

So how many of you have see these ads? They always start out with somebody saying stuff about their life. Like how they are a CEO of a company, or a single parent, or a student; and then they always end with "...and I'm a Mormon". Well, here is mine. I am a single guy, living in a house with 11 other single guys. I am a cook awaiting and in training for a manager position opening up in a couple months. I studied anthropology in college and I hope to continue on to a Masters. I like to wear adult diapers for comfort and support ... And I'm a Mormon. 

Now before I go to far into this blog I just wanna start off by saying this isn't going to be a preachy blog about my religion. If you genuinely want to know more about it please visit these sites that are officially done by the church:

www.mormon.org

www.lds.org

What I do want to talk about today is what it has been like accepting the desire to wear diapers while being an active, believing member of a conservative Christian religion. 

I was raised in the Mormon church, and my parents taught us great values as kids. If we swore, our mouths were washed out with soap. Good behavior was reinforced by white beans that my mom put in a jar with our names on it. Once we had enough white beans we could get a candy bar. You know things like that. 

I will never forget what happened the first time I wore my PullUps (in case you didn't read from my earlier blog I was a bed wetter) during the day. I did my normal routine of throwing away my old PullUp and I just thought, "Hey I like how these feel more than my underwear, why don't I just wear them during the day too." So I did. At kindergarten no one said anything. After school I started playing some SNES with my brother, and when my sister came home she was the one to notice the back of my PullUp sticking out of my pants. She took me up to my room and told me to take it off. She said, "You don't want to grow up to be a pervert." That stuck with me for a long time. 

All throughout my childhood I didn't really care about what other people thought or even the idea of I would be a pervert if I wore my PullUps. I would wear them any chance I could. If I got caught by an older sibling or a parent I would be punished. Then I was trained to not wet the bed and the PullUps went bye bye. I missed them. But I never thought that the desire to wear them was wrong or that I was a pervert. 

This changed as I started going through puberty. At school they taught us about the biological changes that were happening in our bodies. At church we learned how to safely guard ourselves against the possible dangers of pornorgraphy, adultery, fornication, and other sexual sin. This is when I started to question myself. Am I a pervert for liking diapers? 

I struggled with this question for a long time. As I said in an earlier blog, I lost interest in diapers as a teenager as I developed a relationship with a girl. After she broke my heart I started thinking about diapers, well PullUps since I didn't know there was such a thing as adult sized diapers at the time. While serving a mission in Mexico I saw adult diapers, real adult diapers, sold individually at a drug store! Making up an excuse to my companion that I was buying them as a joke for a friend of mine I started loading some into my basket. I then put them back and just grabbed an entire package. I was so excited! Wearing them to bed in secret every now and then (it ended up being like one diaper a month) that package lasted the last year of my mission. 

After I returned to the mainland, I would buy on and off. Every time I would buy I would splurge and then feel guilty. I felt like a pervert. When I moved out to Hawaii I started to feel more lonely than ever. I gave in and ordered diapers. The support I got from them was amazing, but I felt guilty for enjoying them. I started a relationship and the support I received from her led me to not need the diapers. But I was still wearing them. As I told her about this she made me realize that diapers were like pornography to me. I was wearing them to get aroused. I stopped. 

After a while our lives led us in different directions and I felt alone. Again I bought some diapers and overdid it. I felt guilty and threw the rest of the pack out. Over the next couple months it got worse. I started working two jobs since I finished school and the stress just kept building. Plus it doesn't help that I'm considered old by Mormons to still be single. 

About a month ago I decided enough was enough I needed help and the only help I wanted was adult diapers. I ordered some more and for the first time I don't feel guilty about wearing them. It's because this time around it's like when I was a kid, I just want to wear, not for arousal, but for comfort and support. So for the first time since I was a kid I can wear my diapers in peace without guilt. 

It was a long road. But I have to ask, are there any other diapered Mormons out there?

It's more than just a fetish

For my first post I thought I would explain a little bit about Diaper Lovers. While everyone is different I hope to answer questions about why any grown adult would like to wear diapers, explaining why I do. Or at least trying to...

I grew up as the youngest in my family. Overall I had a great childhood. My parents are still together to this day and I can remember many happy times with my brothers and sisters. But I was a bedwetter. The doctor said it was caused by my heavy sleeping. I would go so far under that the need to pee wasn't strong enough to wake me up. My parents kept me in Pull-Ups until I was ten when they decided enough was enough, and we got it fixed with some high tech stuff.
While I was still wearing the Pull-Ups at night as a kid, I would sometimes sneak a pair on during the day. I just liked how they felt as a kid. I hadn't gone through puberty, so it wasn't anything sexual, I just liked the padding.
After I lost the Pull-Ups I was upset to see them go. I was happy to be in control of my bladder, but sad to lose the comfort that came with them. I spend many hours day dreaming what it would be like to wear them again. One time I even stole some baby diapers from a friend to try to recreate the feeling, but it just wasn't the same. They didn't feel right.
As I went through puberty everything started to change. Diapers became a sexual object in my mind, and I wanted them also for that reason. Since I was still living with my parents, I never risked buying them (even though I had a job and my own car) for risk of them finding out. I was afraid of what they might think and say.
My desire for diapers started to wane as I fell in love and developed a relationship. As I got closer to her, I didn't want to wear. It wasn't until later that I found out why, which I will explain later.
After we broke up and left our hometown, I had mixed feelings about going back to diapers. I felt ashamed since they are not part of the "norm" in both my sexual and nonsexual desires for them. When I finally did I had to work hard at hiding them from roommates. Partly because I have no other reason for wearing them other than I like to, and most would see that as weird. I am afraid that they wouldn't accept me if they knew. (In fact I have only told one person about this part of my life.)
Then once again I found a girl that I liked and we started a relationship. And once again, the closer we got the less I wanted to wear diapers. It was a little after we broke up, when I came back to diapers, that I started to understand why. Why I wear diapers, and why I don't want to as I form a relationship with someone.
I started wearing as a kid for comfort as I mentioned above. Diapers are just comfortable. But as I have come to find out, diapers are my help. When I am feeling down on myself, when I am feeling stressed from work or people, when I am feeling exhausted, when I am just feeling like crap, a diaper gives me support. It feels like a hug that doesn't stop. It gives me the confidence that I can make it through the day. So yes, I am aroused by diapers, but I am a guy in my early 20s, I get aroused pretty easily. But they are so much more to me than that, and arousal is the last thing on my mind when I put them on.
For all of you out there who are reading this all grossed out, give it a try. Many websites that sell diapers offer free trials.
For my fellow diaper wearers, let me ask, why do you wear?