Hello anyone who reads this. First I need to apologize for lying. I know that on my last blog I said that it was going to be my last bog entry, but I have something I want to say. It has been a hard year, but I can honestly say that after this last weekend, I am happier than ever.
For those of you who have read some of my blog, you know I was raised Mormon. Earlier this year I left the Mormon Church for theological reasons. Keeping it short, it just doesn't make sense anymore. The only reason I mention this is because after leaving the church, I lost a lot of friends. People who I had considered very close friends, and some for almost all of my life, couldn't accept that choice that I made. That and, I didn't know what to do with my life, church things took up a lot of my time. So this pain started to grow inside, which in reality I didn't even notice until it was released. But more on that in a bit.
Anyway, in my search of something to do, I turned to different diaper forums online. I hadn't been to one for a while because well, I just hadn't. The forums had helped me accept myself as a DL, and so I didn't have the need like I did before. So I returned to find events happening in Denver. The first one that I agreed to go to, everyone else ditched out, and I was at the bar by myself. So that sucked and hurt more than I thought that it would.
After some time, I decided to give it another try. This time I went to fetlife.com and checked out their events. From there I found a discussion group that meets monthly to discuss different topics about everything diaper related. The next discussion topic was about ageplay, focusing in on how to be an effective big. While I don't do any ageplay, I decided to go. BEST. DECISION. EVAR!!
During the night I didn't say much in the group, but I felt so amazingly supported and just accepted. There was a whole group of people there, most where ageplayers, I was the only DL, but everyone was on the diaper fetish spectrum. After the discussion, everyone stayed around and talked. I got to talk with other real life diaper wearers. It felt so amazing. While there I felt that pain that I didn't even realize was building up in my chest just disappear. Literally I started crying as I drove home from the release of that pain. When I close my eyes, I can still see everyones' faces and feel their acceptance.
I want to say this, if there is anyone out there who is reading this who is a AB/DL, please check out fetlife.com. The discussion group is part of the RACK Room Studio. I highly recommend that you come out and join one. It will do wonders.
Thursday, November 24, 2016
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Last One
Sorry it has been so long since I last wrote. I'm getting ready to move and that takes up a lot of my free time.
Since I am moving to Denver I feel like I can't keep this blog up anymore. I will no longer be diapered in Hawaii. Maybe once I get settled in Denver I will start another blog, I'm not sure yet. But today I want to say some final thoughts to wrap this blog up.
First off know that there is so much more I wanted to say. I had probably 6 or 7 different blog ideas in my head about day to day life as a diaper lover that I won't be able to mention. Ideas such as the ongoing debate amongst men diaper wearers if shaved or not shaved, the difficulty of diaper changing in public restrooms, my dream of hanging out in just a diaper and a tshirt, and so much more. But alas, time is not our friend.
But I think the overall point of this blog has been reached. I wanted to give an insider view point of what it is like to wear diapers. I wanted to help those with family and friends who wear to understand a little bit more. Because every AB/DL's worst nightmare is how people will react with they find out. Will they be understanding? Will they be condescending? Will they treat us differently?
For those of you who are AB/DL, I hope this has helped. It took a lot time for me to be ok with myself as a DL and I hope it isn't the same for you. If you haven't already, join an online forum for ABs and DLs. There are many out there. My favorite is DailyDiapers (hyperlink here). They have many different subforums so you can meet others with your likes and dislikes.
For those of you who don't wear, I hope this has helped you understand more about the AB/DL community. If you still have more questions or are still a little curious, check out the forums too. Just make sure if you do, be nice and polite to everyone.
And if you ever have any questions at all about anything diaper related, please feel free to ask me. I probably won't check this blog too much more, but email at lathorium55@gmail.com I will answer any question with respect, no matter how dumb you think it is.
I wish you all the best and thanks for reading.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Roommate Rant
I am pissed. One of my roommates, we are gonna call him Jeffy, stepped way over the line last night, and I am going to do my best to describe the situation in a good manner so you guys understand the gravity of what it happening.
To really understand, you must know how the Mormon Church operates. We don't have a paid ministry, all of us "regular" members of the Church voluntarily offer our time and abilities to run the ward (parish). But we don't volunteer for the position. One of our leaders, who also is volunteering his time, asks us to fulfill a certain role or calling, be it a teacher, a nursery leader, or even a leader over adults. We have the choice to say yes or no. We do that calling the best we can, and then at some point we get released, and we get called to help out somewhere else. Because we are asked to do it, and the calling isn't permanent, most people don't get boastful about what they are doing. And we shouldn't. Everyone in the Church is just some "regular" members, just humans doing the best they can with what they are given. The leaders don't aspire and fight their way to their leadership position. They are asked to do it for a couple years, then they are done.
So Jeffy has a leadership role, more or less. He is the advisor to someone in a leadership role. And he likes to remind us all the time about his calling, always trying to make himself seem more important because of what he is doing. We, his roommates, have gotten used to this and just kind of tune him out when he starts talking.
But what he did yesterday was way worse than this, but with the same intent.
A couple of my roommates weren't born and raised Mormon. They joined the Church later in life. Every now and then they talk about what their lives were like before joining, crazy parties they used to go to, some of their favorite drinks that they miss, pot, etc. But with all of their talk about it, they are always happy with their decision. They don't deny their past, but for them it's just that, their past.
Another one of my roommates, born and raised Mormon, has been disfellowshipped. This means that he has made some kind of big mistake, but not big enough to be excommunicated, or completely throw out of the Church. This just means that he can't have a calling, can't say prayer, and can't take the sacrament, the bread and water, for a certain time frame. He has interviews with various leaders during this time frame, and they help him repent and work his way back to how he wants to live his life. Now he doesn't talk to Jeffy during this process, but Jeffy knows who has been disfellowshipped because it is his responsibility to find people for certain callings.
Yesterday Jeffy told people about how terrible these roommates are, and how he is so much better than them because of what they have done in their past.
This is like a Catholic priest going around after confession and telling all of your friends how he is better than you because of your sins. WAY out of line.
The roommates who weren't born Mormon just shrugged it off, they have always been open about their past life, and they weren't struggling with that life anymore. But my roommate who was disfellowshipped was way hurt. He is one of the nicest guys I know, and he doesn't deserve that type of treatment. His wife walked out on him and his little brother committed suicide within months of each other. He has had a hard hand dealt to him, and he messed up somehow. Big deal, we are all human. But Jeffy tries to play it off like he is better than him, and he broke the confidence that leaders are supposed to hold.
We talked to the people above him to explain the situation, needless to say he isn't in that position anymore. We also talked with our landlord, and he isn't living here anymore either.
Stuff like this reminds me why I am getting my own place in Denver.
To really understand, you must know how the Mormon Church operates. We don't have a paid ministry, all of us "regular" members of the Church voluntarily offer our time and abilities to run the ward (parish). But we don't volunteer for the position. One of our leaders, who also is volunteering his time, asks us to fulfill a certain role or calling, be it a teacher, a nursery leader, or even a leader over adults. We have the choice to say yes or no. We do that calling the best we can, and then at some point we get released, and we get called to help out somewhere else. Because we are asked to do it, and the calling isn't permanent, most people don't get boastful about what they are doing. And we shouldn't. Everyone in the Church is just some "regular" members, just humans doing the best they can with what they are given. The leaders don't aspire and fight their way to their leadership position. They are asked to do it for a couple years, then they are done.
So Jeffy has a leadership role, more or less. He is the advisor to someone in a leadership role. And he likes to remind us all the time about his calling, always trying to make himself seem more important because of what he is doing. We, his roommates, have gotten used to this and just kind of tune him out when he starts talking.
But what he did yesterday was way worse than this, but with the same intent.
A couple of my roommates weren't born and raised Mormon. They joined the Church later in life. Every now and then they talk about what their lives were like before joining, crazy parties they used to go to, some of their favorite drinks that they miss, pot, etc. But with all of their talk about it, they are always happy with their decision. They don't deny their past, but for them it's just that, their past.
Another one of my roommates, born and raised Mormon, has been disfellowshipped. This means that he has made some kind of big mistake, but not big enough to be excommunicated, or completely throw out of the Church. This just means that he can't have a calling, can't say prayer, and can't take the sacrament, the bread and water, for a certain time frame. He has interviews with various leaders during this time frame, and they help him repent and work his way back to how he wants to live his life. Now he doesn't talk to Jeffy during this process, but Jeffy knows who has been disfellowshipped because it is his responsibility to find people for certain callings.
Yesterday Jeffy told people about how terrible these roommates are, and how he is so much better than them because of what they have done in their past.
This is like a Catholic priest going around after confession and telling all of your friends how he is better than you because of your sins. WAY out of line.
The roommates who weren't born Mormon just shrugged it off, they have always been open about their past life, and they weren't struggling with that life anymore. But my roommate who was disfellowshipped was way hurt. He is one of the nicest guys I know, and he doesn't deserve that type of treatment. His wife walked out on him and his little brother committed suicide within months of each other. He has had a hard hand dealt to him, and he messed up somehow. Big deal, we are all human. But Jeffy tries to play it off like he is better than him, and he broke the confidence that leaders are supposed to hold.
We talked to the people above him to explain the situation, needless to say he isn't in that position anymore. We also talked with our landlord, and he isn't living here anymore either.
Stuff like this reminds me why I am getting my own place in Denver.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Ship My Pants
For some reason this commercial from Kmart has become popular in my house. My roommates and I keep quoting it at random times and it's freaking hilarious.
So a couple of nights ago we were getting together to go treasure hunting (with a metal detector we go up and down beaches and parks, mostly finding change and jewelry) and I happened to be wearing a diaper at the time. One of my roommates, trying to be funny, said, "Lathorium you can ship you pants right now!" And I just laughed a little bit on the inside because the truth was, I could.
So a couple of nights ago we were getting together to go treasure hunting (with a metal detector we go up and down beaches and parks, mostly finding change and jewelry) and I happened to be wearing a diaper at the time. One of my roommates, trying to be funny, said, "Lathorium you can ship you pants right now!" And I just laughed a little bit on the inside because the truth was, I could.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Life Isn't Our Own
There is a famous quote from John Donne, "No man is an island." I have been thinking about this a lot because of my decision to leave Hawaii and move to Denver, Colorado.
The decision to leave my current work was actually pretty easy. They have been promising to promote me for quite some time, but yet I see no results. A couple weeks ago I asked my boss when I was going to start training and he gave me such an arbitrary answer, that I decided enough was enough. I am a college graduate working part time in a kitchen, it is time for me to find a real job.
But those who know me are quite baffled by my decision to move to Denver. Most of them I give the basic answer of that is where a lot of companies are hiring right now. In fact I already have quite a few interviews lined up for when I move. Then again I am confident enough in myself and my abilities that I could find employment in anywhere, well, at least any big city. This answer, though, is just partly correct. I mean since when do we have only one reason to do something?
The deeper meaning to why I chose to move to Denver comes from the quote I mentioned earlier from John Donne, "No man is an island." (This actually comes from a poem that he wrote that I decided not to include because it seems to be more about death.) We are all tied to other people around us, family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, etc. Some of these ties are stronger than others, and as I continue to progress in life I start to see how quickly and effortlessly these ties can be broken and forgotten. So if there are people in our lives that we want to be continuously tied to, we have to do something about that. We have to make a conscious effort to stay tied together.
This got me thinking, who do I want to be connected with? If I am going to be sharing my life and even my identity with other people, who do I want them to be?
My family. (Sorry my Mormon is coming out.) I grew up used to having family live far away. There is a nine year gap between my oldest sister and myself, so my clearest memories come from when she was already in college. So being far away from my siblings and my parents never has really been that big of a deal. But something happened this year at Christmas. I spent about a week at my sister's house, trying to spend as much time with my niece and nephew as I could. I fell in love with them, and I miss them terribly. I definitely want to be close to my family, but more so with my niece and nephew than anyone else. They don't live in Denver, but they live in Salt Lake, which is a cheap flight away from a fun weekend with their uncle.
The nice thing too is that my brother lives in Salt Lake too. (Like I said my Mormon is coming out.) We were never that close as kids, but after high school we got really close. We bond through gaming (cards, video, boards, sports, etc.) even when we suck at it, and watching and quoting Family Guy. We are the only ones in our family that speak Spanish, so we have fun with that. We even used to live together. Ever since I moved out here we don't talk as much, and I miss that. He got married a couple months ago, and I don't really know his wife that well. That is something that I plan to change when I move.
But what about my friends? I have gotten to know so many people in my time here, but no one is staying. My old roommate, who was my roommate the entire time I was at school here, is moving back to Taiwan at the end of this year. All of my current roommates that I have gotten close to are moving out in May, most of them permanently like me. I can go on and on, but the point is that I am not the only one leaving, so I don't feel like I am leaving anyone behind.
And I do have one friend in Denver. I have already talked about this friend and what she means to me on here quite a bit. So I will limit today to just saying, her friendship is worth fighting for.
The decision to leave my current work was actually pretty easy. They have been promising to promote me for quite some time, but yet I see no results. A couple weeks ago I asked my boss when I was going to start training and he gave me such an arbitrary answer, that I decided enough was enough. I am a college graduate working part time in a kitchen, it is time for me to find a real job.
But those who know me are quite baffled by my decision to move to Denver. Most of them I give the basic answer of that is where a lot of companies are hiring right now. In fact I already have quite a few interviews lined up for when I move. Then again I am confident enough in myself and my abilities that I could find employment in anywhere, well, at least any big city. This answer, though, is just partly correct. I mean since when do we have only one reason to do something?
The deeper meaning to why I chose to move to Denver comes from the quote I mentioned earlier from John Donne, "No man is an island." (This actually comes from a poem that he wrote that I decided not to include because it seems to be more about death.) We are all tied to other people around us, family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, etc. Some of these ties are stronger than others, and as I continue to progress in life I start to see how quickly and effortlessly these ties can be broken and forgotten. So if there are people in our lives that we want to be continuously tied to, we have to do something about that. We have to make a conscious effort to stay tied together.
This got me thinking, who do I want to be connected with? If I am going to be sharing my life and even my identity with other people, who do I want them to be?
My family. (Sorry my Mormon is coming out.) I grew up used to having family live far away. There is a nine year gap between my oldest sister and myself, so my clearest memories come from when she was already in college. So being far away from my siblings and my parents never has really been that big of a deal. But something happened this year at Christmas. I spent about a week at my sister's house, trying to spend as much time with my niece and nephew as I could. I fell in love with them, and I miss them terribly. I definitely want to be close to my family, but more so with my niece and nephew than anyone else. They don't live in Denver, but they live in Salt Lake, which is a cheap flight away from a fun weekend with their uncle.
The nice thing too is that my brother lives in Salt Lake too. (Like I said my Mormon is coming out.) We were never that close as kids, but after high school we got really close. We bond through gaming (cards, video, boards, sports, etc.) even when we suck at it, and watching and quoting Family Guy. We are the only ones in our family that speak Spanish, so we have fun with that. We even used to live together. Ever since I moved out here we don't talk as much, and I miss that. He got married a couple months ago, and I don't really know his wife that well. That is something that I plan to change when I move.
But what about my friends? I have gotten to know so many people in my time here, but no one is staying. My old roommate, who was my roommate the entire time I was at school here, is moving back to Taiwan at the end of this year. All of my current roommates that I have gotten close to are moving out in May, most of them permanently like me. I can go on and on, but the point is that I am not the only one leaving, so I don't feel like I am leaving anyone behind.
And I do have one friend in Denver. I have already talked about this friend and what she means to me on here quite a bit. So I will limit today to just saying, her friendship is worth fighting for.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Getting Excited
Do you remember a while back when I said I order a custom diaper off of etsy? Well just a couple days ago I got a message from the seller that the mushroom is done. This is the picture she sent me
I am so excited for when it is finished. She told me that it should be about a week or two. Yay!
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Discrediting the Myth
I am not sure where this myth came from, or why people would even believe it. Anyone who has ever worn a diaper would tell you otherwise. Yet, on all the Yahoo! Questions, or any other new to diaper forums, about wearing a diaper there is always one dingus who says it. This is the myth, that after wetting a diaper, it gets cold.
The only reason I think that someone would ever fathom that a wet diaper would get cold is by comparing it to a swimsuit. But they are very different. A swimsuit isn't designed to hug your body, at least for guys. But more importantly a swimsuit doesn't have the plastic outer layer. This layer is designed to keep all of the wetness within the diaper. For disposables it is actually part of the diaper, and for cloth diapers, well, you wouldn't even dream of wetting a cloth diaper without a pair of plastic pants on. So this plastic outer layer not only prevents liquid from getting out, it prevents air from getting in. No air = no coldness. It is just that simple.
That being said, if the diaper leaks, then yes it will get cold.
Ok, so now I want to share something a little bit more personal. My own preference. There are many diaper wearers that prefer to wear their diaper wet, some even to the point that they will wet as soon as they put on. There are others who prefer to wear their diaper dry. For me it depends on the diaper. Most of them I like better dry, like my two Tena brands and my cloth diapers. My ATNs I think are a lot more comfortable wet. And my Abena M4s I like both wet and dry.
But what it really comes down to is convenience. I don't set out to wet my diapers usually. Most of the time when I wet I have to go and I just go. For example the other day I went down to get my car worked on. I go to a mechanic shop about 30 minutes out of the town I live in. I decided that I wanted to go diapered. On the way back I filled up with gas because gas is cheaper down there. When I stepped out to fill up, I had the urge to go. So while I was standing there pumping my gas (here in Hawaii there is no flip thing to automatically fill your car, so you have to hold it while it fills), I went. So instead of having to wait the 30 minute drive home, I was able to go.
The only reason I think that someone would ever fathom that a wet diaper would get cold is by comparing it to a swimsuit. But they are very different. A swimsuit isn't designed to hug your body, at least for guys. But more importantly a swimsuit doesn't have the plastic outer layer. This layer is designed to keep all of the wetness within the diaper. For disposables it is actually part of the diaper, and for cloth diapers, well, you wouldn't even dream of wetting a cloth diaper without a pair of plastic pants on. So this plastic outer layer not only prevents liquid from getting out, it prevents air from getting in. No air = no coldness. It is just that simple.
That being said, if the diaper leaks, then yes it will get cold.
Ok, so now I want to share something a little bit more personal. My own preference. There are many diaper wearers that prefer to wear their diaper wet, some even to the point that they will wet as soon as they put on. There are others who prefer to wear their diaper dry. For me it depends on the diaper. Most of them I like better dry, like my two Tena brands and my cloth diapers. My ATNs I think are a lot more comfortable wet. And my Abena M4s I like both wet and dry.
But what it really comes down to is convenience. I don't set out to wet my diapers usually. Most of the time when I wet I have to go and I just go. For example the other day I went down to get my car worked on. I go to a mechanic shop about 30 minutes out of the town I live in. I decided that I wanted to go diapered. On the way back I filled up with gas because gas is cheaper down there. When I stepped out to fill up, I had the urge to go. So while I was standing there pumping my gas (here in Hawaii there is no flip thing to automatically fill your car, so you have to hold it while it fills), I went. So instead of having to wait the 30 minute drive home, I was able to go.
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